Mine. My heart. It’s happy.

There were a few years there where I lost sight of how truly important this is. I had forgotten how to protect my heart from all the wrong things and in turn, suffered some major heartache along the way.

Boys. Friends. My health.

Somewhere in my journey between then and now I developed some bad habits and made certain things priorities that really shouldn’t have been. Long gone was the belief that everyone needs respect and unconditional love.

I look back at my rugged relationship with a boy who didn’t deserve me and reflect upon forlorn friendships that have since become little more than echoes of the laughter we shared. In taking a step back from these things, I can only now see that I had merely forgotten what was most important to me. A happy heart.

The boy doesn’t deserve more words than what has already been said. Book closed.

My friends. Ah, yes. No evil words here. I had surrounded myself with a select few, whose company I thoroughly enjoyed. Lots of great memories we have, these friends and me. As I have spent a great deal of the past year rediscovering who I am, who should be in my life and who shouldn’t, a handful of these friendships were tested.

Everyone tells you that your twenties are some of your most important years. You find your true passions, who you are, your values evolve. Things that once seemed more important than anything else have taken a backseat. In the simplest words, you change.

A friend of mine told me earlier this year that the person I am now is not familiar to her…that she doesn’t know me anymore – sounds cliche, but I don’t think it was meant to be. As an outsider, I can see what she means. Three years ago I wasn’t this girl. I was unhappy. I was fat. I was so unsure of the future that I was suffering severe anxiety attacks because of it. I didn’t believe that I deserved to be loved.

The me now is so different from that girl that yes, I can understand why it would seem unfamiliar. Which is okay. It seems that I have different interests and different priorities now, too. I had forgotten that I LIKE to be active. My health is now more important to me than it’s been in YEARS, which I am very pleased with. The party scene is no longer appealing to me in the “Let’s get blackout drunk” sense.

I’ll tell you now, the difference is surrounding yourself with positive people who you want in your life, and who know without a doubt that they want you in theirs.

The woman I am now is so incredibly familiar to me; I finally found my skin.

It saddens me that I wasted too many years being fat and unhappy and scared…but only for a split second, until I realize that the rain has stopped and it’s time to go outside and play again.

And by golly, PLAY WE DID!

Williams Canyon; 26 July 2010. Probably my favorite new hike!

Natural skylight

What *rebels* we are!

Wild raspberries! Tastey

…and mountain seashells! As in, seashells found ON the mountainside! Procured a whole handful for the Small One.

Much (happy hiker) love,

A couple weekends ago, I officially opened HOTEL del PRO. In other words, I hosted my mom, my grandma, my ten year old sister and Lilly, a dog my mom was sitting for a week or so.

I live in a two-bedroom apartment. It wasn’t an impossible feat, by any means. But it was, however, a challenge. Now, don’t get me wrong. I LOVE my family and I’m so happy they decided to come visit. I took the couch, my Gram got my bed, mom took the futon while Evan rocked the floor. Everyone seemed pretty content with the sleeping situation. All in all, I’d say it was a success.

While they were down here, we all decided to go to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. It’s new to me and my little sister is an animal-lover to the max. I thought this was a pretty grand idea.

Perks of the zoo: ice cream (for nostalgic purposes) and the giraffes.

Here are a few of my FAVORITE pics from the day:

and last but not least…the wildest animal of them all.

So very happy we went.

Much love,

Right. Almost a month since I last posted. Whoops.

The truth is that I’ve just been busy! Which is a good thing. I’ve made some really fantastic friends here in The Springs. Tonight is my first night to be home. By myself. For more than an hour…in over a week. It’s been insane!

Don’t get me wrong – I’m lovin it! I’ve been playing softball and sand volleyball and going out for drinks; Jacques and I even went to our first Rockies game of the season last Saturday! I’m enjoying the HELL out of this summer.

Since the last time I posted, Jacques participated in a bike race. It was the Firecracker 50 up in Breckenridge, CO on the 4th of July. It was a 50 mile race and my guy did really well. He placed 6th in his age group and I’m so proud of him! He has another one coming up this weekend (which I won’t be attending) which is the Breck 100 (a 100 mile race) and I know he’s going to KILL IT!

I won’t be attending this race because my mom is coming down for the weekend…with my sister…and my grandma…and some dog that she’s watching for the next week. My apartment will soon become Pro’s Hotel! Eek! I’m really excited to see everyone and we’re thinking about going to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. I haven’t been yet and nearly everyone speaks highly of it so hey, why not?! Should be a good time.

Work is still going really well. We start certification next week and I’m really nervous. So far I’m doing really well so we’ll see if we can keep that going! I’m still liking my job and LOVING the company so no complaints here! I also really love the people I work with – we’re a crazy (and super eclectic group) which amazingly, works really well for us. Honestly, some great new people that I’m sure you’ll hear more about.

There’s really nothing else to say…except that I need to get back into the swing of posting more often!

Much love, Pro

There are three letters that work well here, better perhaps, than any other three letters.

O.M.G.

Okay maybe a WTF is in store too.

Yesterday was the first time in a long time that I can truly say that I am grateful for my body and what it is capable of.

I can tell you, with a great sense of pride and accomplishment, that I climbed the Manitou Incline.

This may mean very little to some of you, and nothing to most of you. It really does require a proper introduction:

Length: just under 1 mile

Elevation Gain: roughly 2000 ft.

Incline: 50 degrees (at the steepest point)

Degree of Difficulty: Strenuous

Yeah, you read that right. 2000 feet of elevation gain in under a mile. Basically, it’s a mile of “stairs.” Let’s use the word “stairs” loosely here because it’s actually stairs for probably 30% of trip and then GIANT FREAKING STEPS as tall as my knee for the rest of it.

Now I can’t even say that I was blindsided by any of this. I’d gotten a small synopsis of what it was all about from Jacques’ mom and my coworkers. I had fair warning. It didn’t actually HIT me until I was standing at the base of it and went “Oh shit.”

It was 85 degrees out when we started hiking and probably well into the 90s by the time we were half way up. It took us a little over an hour to complete it (including stoppage time which we estimate was about 15-20 minutes). We ran out of water once we got to the top (oops!) and we were both super cute sweaty by the end of it. Of course, Jacques made it look easy but that’s what he does. He’s a machine. I’m just proud that I finished.

Here are the rest of the pictures from the trek up the BEAST:

Definitely not even half-way…

Getting steeper…

You turn around to see how far you’ve come, and this is what you get…

…and then it gets tricky…

This is at the top of what they call “The False Summit.” Just below this, it was so steep that you couldn’t see the “rest” so you thought you were done. Please notice that you can’t see the trail behind us because well, it was THAT STEEP. Then you turn around and see this:

Oh my god. That’s more stairs! It never ends. Ever.

Us at the summit. Yes, I know I’m a hot mess. Let’s be real. That’s a fake smile too.

View from the very top, with a look back at the whole thing.

Yes, I know that was a lot of pictures of the same thing: stairs. Now you know how I felt. Then we had to turn around and hike right back down – FOUR MILES! Yeah, I didn’t know it was that long, either. Four miles. Just to go home. So 5 miles and 3.5 hours later…

I really am very proud of my body. A year ago, I wouldn’t have made it. Probably not even close. I would have been dying AND in tears before we got to the halfway point. That was also about 50 pounds ago. It’s amazing the limits we’re capable of pushing ourselves to. It reminds me why I wanted to get back in shape in the first place. It also reminds me that I still have 35 pounds to go. However, Jacques and I figured that we burned probably somewhere around 1300 calories between both hiking up and back down again.

My favorite boy did treat me to some ice cream in Old Colorado City when we were finished. I guess that *almost* made it worth it. The thing about this is, now I just have the stupidity drive to do it again – and shoot for a better time. Less than an hour sound good? I’ll regret that later…

Much (sore) love, Pro

My living room…that is.

I’ve said it before: when it comes to clothing or decorating, I wouldn’t really say that I have any TRUE sense of personal style. I would love the be the kind of girl who can make all sorts of quirky, eclectic stuff work…but I can’t. It’s just not me. That being said, I’m actually really happy with how my living room has turned out – thus far. Here are a few pictures:

It’s pretty much done. The only thing I’ve not yet purchased (which will be purchased in the near future) is a big clock to go above the fireplace. So see? I promised pictures…and I delivered. Eventually.

In other “big” news…I got a dining room table! Um, I’d still like Jacques to build me one – when he gets the chance – but I have one now that will suffice until that can happen. It’s kind of rustic looking, and while I don’t know whether or not it’s made out of reclaimed wood, I could almost pass.

I’m still looking for the right chairs. I’ll probably just stick with something simple in a dark wood or even a black. We’ll have to see. Either way, I’m pretty excited about the table! Woot!

That’s all from me. Nothing too exciting, I know. I’m off to run a 5k with Jacques. Don’t be jealous.

Much (decorating) love, Pro

I’ve consumed a couple beers tonight. Tastey beverage, that beer is.

My good friends Amanda, Josh and their baby Jayden came down tonight to watch the season premiere of True Blood (awesome btw; I want more!). The three of us started watching the show together when I lived in Broomfield and we’ve decided to attempt to continue the tradition. They’ll be coming down here every Sunday! I’m thrilled to get to see them every week!

They brought beer with them – Landshark to be precise – and I decided to enjoy a few. I’m now just a tad bit tipsy and decided to blog. If you were here right now I’d be talking your ear off…count your lucky stars that you’re not!

After they left I started thinking. About what, you ask? Everything truthfully. Mostly about the future. What a topic, eh?

Seriously. I know so many people who are transitioning into the next chapter in their lives and part of me is jealous. They’re all getting married and having babies and buying houses. This all sounds AMAZING. Granted, I’m not quite at that point yet but the prospect is thrilling. It all has me taking a step back and reminding myself what is important.

Tonight Amanda asked me what it’s like to live alone. I told her that most of the time, it’s great. I know that when I clean up a mess, the mess is my own. If I want to just read and have it be quiet…I can. And honestly one of the best things is that I can keep the temperature at whatever temperature I want! In college that was always a big thing…four girls could never decide whether they were hot or cold…whether we were cold enough to want to pay for the heating bill or hot enough to turn on the a/c. It sounds like a small thing, and it may very well be. But it really is about the small things sometimes.

I’m really happy that I’m enjoying this time in my life; living alone and experiencing that, because there are a lot of people who never get to. This is not to say that they *should have* by ANY means. Most people I know wouldn’t change where they are and how they got there for anything in the world. However, I do know a select few who wish they would have lived alone for a bit. I’m just happy that I have, and that I am.

Now, Jacques and I have discussed, on occasion, moving in together and since he’s not working (and we don’t know WHERE he may end up) this isn’t something that we can even discuss on any level of seriousness yet. Eventually yes, I would like for us to move in together (he does too) and Jacques is the first guy that I’ve dated that I could even seriously say that I WANTED to live with…that I’m EXCITED to live with. When it was mentioned with two of my past boyfriends, it was almost because I felt like we were supposed to. We’d been dating for a couple of YEARS and well, isn’t that just what couples *DO*? Move in together? In both cases, it would have been a huge, monumental, gigantic mistake. With Jacques it’s not so much about the time that we’ve been together, but more about the fact that he’s amazing. We get along really REALLY well and I have no doubt that it would be a great thing for our relationship. Eventually

In the mean time, I’m enjoying my own place while still looking forward to the future. I’ve been thinking about stuff like this a lot lately so don’t be surprised to see other posts like this in the near future: Pro’s Thoughts on Life (gettin’ deep here!).

Change of topic (heads up!): Garden! My peppers are growing!

Spicy banana pepper!

Poblano pepper: hopefully for homemade chiles rellenos!

My lil jalapeno – homemade salsa! Yum!

I have about 9 strawberries now and there are 5 little Early Girl tomatoes that sprouted over the weekend too! Woo hoo…can’t wait.

Much love, Pro

As promised, here are some of my favorite pictures from last weekend (Memorial Day) up at the cabin…

Here are a few from this weekend!

…last night’s sunset. Looked like the sky was on fire!

First strawberries from my container garden.

Baby Jayden’s first watermelon experience! Needless to say, he liked it. A lot.

The rest of this weekend won’t be quite as exciting…

Much love, Pro

Alright so I’ve been a bit behind…and I can’t even say it’s because nothing’s been going on. Au contraire. SO MUCH is going on, I don’t even know where to begin!

I started my (amazing) new job with USAA last week and I FREAKING LOVE IT! It’s amazing. I’m not only thrilled to have a job, but I’m thrilled to work for company that’s excited to have me too. I found out this week that my class of 16 is quite an elite group who beat out well over 1,000 other candidates. My “classmates” are awesome, to say the very least, and have been amazing this past week and a half-ish. All of them are willing to share their knowledge or, at the very least, let me know that I’m not alone in being totally and completely *lost* on some of the material.

I’ll just say that my company is great and they really do take care of their members and their employees. I am so thrilled to be working at this place and I can’t WAIT to see what’s in store. In the mean time, I’m busy as a bee studying for my licensing exam – which is next Thursday. It’s a test…that I have to pass…in order to keep my job. Uh huh. No pressure or anything.

Deep breath.

We have the next week in class to prepare and I’m spending my evenings doing the same with hopes of passing it the first time. Wish me luck

This past weekend was Memorial Day and Jacques and I went up to my family’s cabin near Jefferson, Colorado. It was beautiful – pics to come (when I have time). It was a GREAT weekend filled with lots of laughs, beautiful weather, a hike and of course, llamas.

This upcoming weekend should be fun. I’ll be studying most of the time, with a short break on Saturday when my good friends Josh, Amanda and their baby boy, Jayden, will be coming down to celebrate Amanda’s birthday! My pool just opened so I’m hoping we can indulge in a few delicious libations, enjoy the sun and watch the baby giggle in the water – SO FUN!

Not very exciting…and certainly not long, but an update all the some.

Hoping that everyone else had a fabulous Memorial Day weekend…btw, my container garden is growing so fast! Fresh homegrown basil on a homemade margherita pizza = HEAVEN.

Much love, Pro

Okay not quite Martha Stewart. I still haven’t mastered homemade napkin holders or the perfect Halloween-themed cupcake, but I did start my very first container garden!

Having never done this before, this is 100% an experiment in the following:

1.) Which items grow best in a container garden?

2.) My ability to keep something alive

3.) Whether the $85 I dropped on this will be worth it

That last one will be hard to measure while the first two will be fairly easy (dead or not dead).

My container garden is small and humble…I would have loved to gone CRAZY and grown a bunch of different things but I’m fairly picky when it comes to vegetables and well, have I mentioned that this is my first time doing this?? I’m 13% positive that I’ll fail miserably. However, despite this fact I invested in the following:

1.) 3 strawberry plants (2 of them are already blooming!)

2.) 2 sweet basil plants

3.) 3 different varieties of pepper: poblano, jalapeno and spicy banana

4.) 2 large-variety tomato plants: Early Girls (should see fruit on these in the next 40 days)

5.) 2 smaller-variety cherry tomato plants: Porter’s Dark Cherry and Sweet 100s

In the next couple weeks I fully plan to go get some different flowers, at which point I’ll have the happiest little deck around! So excited to start eating my home-grown fruits and veggies!

Happy gardening…

Much love, Pro

At my last apartment, I had no need for a dining room table. My “dining room” at my old place was used as my “study” – it was very small and proved to be the perfect place for my desk. I usually ate dinner on my couch with my coffee table serving as a “dining table”. Needless to say, it didn’t feel very grown up.

In my new place, my dining room is rather large AND I still don’t have a dining room table, to boot! I’ve been searching Craigslist for the perfect table but I have something in mind that I can’t seem to find…not in my price range anyway. I don’t need something amazing and therefore am attempting to be fairly realistic. There’s just nothing that I’ve found that I’ve loved.

So I – naturally – started looking at stuff that I can’t afford. Because that makes sense, right? Right. Restoration Hardware. Pier1. You know…all the NICE STUFF. What’s really been catching my eye though are the reclaimed wood tables that I’ve been seeing.

Of course it’s ecologically prudent to own a reclaimed-wood table. Plus…they’re GORGEOUS! Let’s get real: they’re also really expensive. We’re talking like anywhere between $1300 and $3000 for a table. Pretty sure that doesn’t even include chairs! In my price range? I think NOT.

Jacques and I both like the look of a reclaimed-wood table and I personally LOVE that it’s good for the environment. Lots of times the wood comes from old barns that are being torn down or renovations from houses. My fabulous and wonderful boyfriend has since offered to BUILD ME ONE. Say what? I. KNOW.

It just so happens that he’s working on building his mom a new deck and recently tore down her old one. We had no idea where the wood for my new table would come from – at one point I was considering going to a salvage yard and looking for an old door to use as the table top. Then it clicked.

But of course! The wood from the deck! EUREKA! He’s fairly sure it’s redwood meaning that it’s a nice, solid wood that should work pretty well for the table actually. I’ve been looking at pictures to get some inspiration for “styles”:

I love the look of wood that has character: knots, dents, dings…wear and tear. I’m also toying around with the idea of using metal legs because I like the contrast. I’m no design guru by any means, but I’ll have to be careful because some of the tables start to look “farmhouse-y” which really isn’t my style. I don’t know what my style *is* but farmhouse, it ain’t.

The deal is that as soon as Jacques is finished building his mom’s deck this summer, he’ll (we’ll?) build me a dining room table. In the mean time I’ll have to find something that is cheap and works well.

I know I’ve promised pictures of my new apartment but the only thing(s) I really have done are my bathrooms! Not too exciting but here…

Guest bath…

…and master bath.

Uh huh. I sure do see the irony in posting this. It’s a picture of a picture.

With high hopes of finishing a room – ANY OTHER ROOM – soon…

Much love, Pro