Quick update from last week’s weigh in:

WEEK 40 WEIGHT LOSS: + 0.4 lbs (Ugh…no wonder I skipped 2 weeks in a row)

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS WITH WW: – 50.8 lbs (Still right around 58 lbs in all)

Alright so what I really wanted to bitch about discuss is the two EXTREMES I’ve been experiencing when it comes to appetite throughout the entirety of my journey to lose weight (thus far). I don’t ever recall having this kind of appetite before I started losing weight so I’m trying to figure out what has changed.

Let’s start off with the fact that I *know* that I’m an emotional eater. I eat when I’m stressed, when I’m sad, when I’m angry. I also eat when I’m bored and I used to eat to “reward” myself for hard work (ie: studying for finals in college or a nice dinner to celebrate a good grade). Fine, so maybe it’s safe to say that I’m just an eater. I’ll admit it; I like food. But mainly, I do think that it comes from emotion.

Part of my motivation to lose weight is conquering the emotions. Obviously I knew that I had to get myself mentally healthy before I could get physically healthy. I think I’m doing pretty well with this one. I’m *SO* much happier now than I’ve been in many, many years. Through lots of trials and tribulations over the past year, I think I’m getting back to what makes me, me. It’s been a trip.

Despite this amazingly exciting, albeit timely, breakthrough, I am still on a rollercoaster when it comes to my appetite.

THE GOOD WEEKS (Force-feeding):

There are some weeks where I couldn’t care less about food. I have to REMIND myself to eat and most of the time, nothing really sounds good. A day in the life of Pro’s meals look like this:

Breakfast: a slice of toast and an apple

Lunch: a salad or a small piece of chicken

Dinner: MAYBE 1/2 c of whole wheat pasta and some veggies

Eating during these weeks is ANNOYING to me. I just know I have to do it because otherwise, I’ll be a walking zombie and my workouts won’t be worth doo doo because I have no energy.

THESE are the weeks that I am just one step closer to viewing food as fuel and I am so proud of myself that food no longer rules my life.

THE BAD WEEKS (Overeating):

Then there are weeks where I am still consumed by thoughts of food and food cravings. Sometimes the cravings are healthy – *SOMETIMES*. As we learned the week of Valentine’s Day, sometimes they are not so healthy. I eat and try to make it work with food items that I know are good for me (aka: WW friendly foods) but that’s usually not enough. So I’ll let myself cheat and eat something I usually withhold from myself (maybe a few chips or a small piece of cake – to see if a few bites will satiate the craving). On my bad weeks, this doesn’t even come close to solving my “bottom-less stomach” issue.

Sometimes I even eat until the point that I’m full or even uncomfortable. First of all, this makes me sick to my stomach. I HATE the feeling of being full. Now that I’ve learned to eat until I’m satisfied and learned to really pay attention to the signals my stomach sends to my brain to indicate satisfaction, being full is quite possibly one of the most uncomfortable feelings in the world. During my bad weeks sometimes I am full and, for whatever reason, there is still something that makes me want to eat more.

I’ve been trying to pay attention to these weeks and write down what’s going on in my life to see if there are emotions behind the extremes. So far I haven’t seen any sort of a pattern but I’ve only been doing it for the past couple weeks; maybe it will take a little bit more time.

All I know is that I need to find that happy medium, hopefully something resembling the good weeks moreso than the bad ones. It sure doesn’t feel good to be back at square one…well, kind of.

40 DAYS WITHOUT CHOCOLATE:

So…I gotta admit that I messed this one up. Bad. I forgot about the fact that I’m trying to go 40 days without chocolate and well, I ate chocolate. I wanted nothing more than a milkshake – I didn’t need the biggest, baddest milkshake. I just wanted a little one. And OF COURSE it just had to be a chocolate milkshake. So Jacques, being the GREAT man that he is, made me one – he also forgot about my 40 days without chocolate. So I drank it and man, was it delicious (and definitely much “healthier” than one we would have gotten at an ice cream parlor). I didn’t remember until a couple days later that I’d failed the challenge that I – ironically – had set up for myself.

And ooops, I actually almost ruined it AGAIN the other night at a party at Jacques’ dad’s house. There was chocolate on the table in little tiny pieces. It looked so good! Without even THINKING about it (yes, this means I forgot about it AGAIN), I picked up one of those tiny succulent pieces of chocolate and just as it touched my lips, Jacques BATTED it out of my hand…and then ATE IT. lol Like I said, he’s a good man.

Here we go. Starting over. 8 days down. 32 more to go.

Much love, Pro

As I sit here, embarrassed that I skipped weigh in AGAIN this week (WHAT?! That scale and me are so NOT friends right now – I almost THREW it against the wall this morning), I started thinking about how this whole experience has morphed into SO MUCH MORE than I ever thought it would be.

It really is amazing to take a look back and see how far this weight loss journey has taken me. I know I’ve said it before but a year ago, all (I thought) I wanted was to lost about 20-30 pounds and I would be happy. I really just didn’t think I’d be able to succeed at this…oh man. I had no idea how high I could aim and frankly, I was scared that if I aimed too high I was just setting myself up for failure.

When I posted my “halfway” pics back in October, I weighed about 185. Now that I’m on the verge of dipping into the 160’s (fingers crossed it’s next week?), I thought I’d share a look back from now to then just to see what’s changed.

Recap:

Here’s a GEM of a before pic that I’ve not yet posted…taken in December 2008.

Taken almost exactly a year ago…right around 225 lbs probably.

Now for the pic from October:

Right around 185 lbs.

Now there’s obviously a pretty big difference there – I’ve not been NEARLY as meticulous about documenting my body changes as Miss Morgan but I’m working on it. I took some pictures yesterday (along with measurements which I’ll share in a minute) just to see if I could see the changes. Morgan and I actually discussed this the other day – about how, especially when you lose a significant amount of weight, it’s hard to adjust your mind to your new body image. For instance, she and I both still feel like we LOOK bigger than we actually are…it takes the mind a little while to “catch up”.

I feel like the only place I see it…is in my boobs. Bwah-wah.

This is where MEASUREMENTS come in handy, because while I’m not necessarily seeing it in pictures or in the mirror, my tape measure doesn’t lie. Check this out:

Change in inches since the beginning:

Arms: – 2.5 inches (0 change since last measurement)

Bust: - 8.5 inches (- 4 inches since last measurement)

Waist: – 6.5 inches (0 change since last measurement)

Hips: – 8.0 inches (- 3.5 inches since last measurement)

Thighs: – 6.25 inches (- 1.25 inches since last measurement)

I don’t know how you feel about it but taking measurements is the BEST idea because even in weeks where you don’t see a change on the scale, often times your body is still changing. Everyone LOVES the whole “losing fat, gaining muscle” thing and I know it’s true to some extent but it is GREAT to be able to put a number to the shrinkage.

On a different note, I got my hair cut today for the first time since *GASP* August. lol I went to a friend of mine from highschool, Sydnie Chapman. I love it!

Quite a bit shorter but it’ll grow

Off to the gym!

Much love, Pro

Best Valentine’s Day ever.

Seriously.

In the history of the world.

I’ll prove it.

We decided to celebrate early because, let’s be honest here. Everyone jacks up their prices for holidays and we probably saved a good chunk of money by celebrating a few days early. Didn’t bother me any. When we were checking into the hotel, Jacques had asked for a room with a view of the mountains. They didn’t have it…so they gave us a free upgrade to a Corner King Suite – incredible. It was gorgeous!

Our dinner reservations at Vesta Dipping Grill were at 6 and we decided to walk to the restaurant (8 blocks away). I was wearing comfy heels so I didn’t mind, but it was windy as heck. Sheesh! We did look quite stylish though, if I do say so myself.

Dinner was FANTASTIC. I don’t know if I have other words for it: delicious, amazing, mouth-watering, superb. If you ever get a chance to go there, DO IT. It’s pricey but worth every penny. YUM! I neglected to take pictures – and seriously only realized it after my meal was more than half gone (man, I suck). It was so darn good! I got the beef tenderloin that came with some of the most amazing roasted tomatoes I’ve ever had. Jacques ordered the Valentine’s Day special that came with prosciutto-wrapped shrimp (OMG, delish), a veal entree and some chocolate panicotta with caramel sauce. I really wish I would have taken pics – your mouth would be WATERING.

After dinner, we walked back to the hotel in an effort to try to relax our STUFFED-TO-THE-BRIM satisfied bellies. Although I didn’t know it, Jacques had a surprise waiting for me when we got back to the hotel room:

Hallway petals…

Bed petals…

Champagne, strawberries and chocolate!

Yes, that’s exactly what you think it is. Chocolate, in chocolate, in chocolate. A hollow chocolate heart with three different kinds of chocolate truffles in there!

What more could a girl ask for!? It was fantastic. I had also made Jacques homemade tiramisu (his favorite) which I could have SWORN I took pics of but I’m finding that I didn’t. It was really pretty…but it wasn’t the tastiest thing on the planet (too much rum, not enough of the custardy goodness). He seemed to really appreciate the effort though…

We didn’t do a whole lot for the rest of the weekend…OOOH! I will mention though that I’ve had the MOST wicked craving for chocolate cake over the past few weeks that just wouldn’t quit.

Let me start with this: the two most FABULOUS pieces of chocolate cake I’ve ever had were at Buca di Beppo (Bapi du Buppo, I can never remember the name of this place) and PF Changs. I had kind of decided that no other piece of cake would suffice so if I was going to do it I was going to do it BIG. Please note: this is NOT something someone who is trying to lose weight should be obsessing about…but boy, was I obsessing. So I talked Jacques into taking me into town (CO SPRINGS) to PF Changs for some CHOCOLATE MADNESS. Cake and a fireplace cuddle. Behold…it was heaven:

The Great Wall of Chocolate (no, seriously. That’s what it’s called)

Hey. You’re drooling…I can see it.

Who doesn’t love a fireplace cuddle?

And now that I’ve had my VERY SERIOUS chocolate fix…I’m giving up chocolate for the next 40 days. I’m not super religious but I think I had a bit of a chocolate overload so for lent (which starts today) I’m not allowing myself to eat any chocolate. Oh boy.

I already mentioned that I skipped weigh in last week and I fully intend to go this week (tomorrow). We’ll see how that goes. My Great Wall of Chocolate hips are screaming at my Great Wall of Chocolate thighs that I might see a bit of a gain on the scale this week. Wowza.

And just because I’m feelin’ the love…

Kisses.

Much love, Pro

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I LOVE VALENTINES DAY. I know a lot of people think it’s a manufactured holiday with Hallmark and various chocolate companies being the primary benefactors. Au contraire.

Here’s how I see it: because I celebrate it, I’m the primary benefactor. Catch me on this one? hahaha I think it’s necessary to acknowledge your partner on a daily basis in a positive way, don’t get me wrong. Relationships are hard work. I mean, it shouldn’t be TOO hard so be careful with that one…but it definitely takes some effort to keep communication going and to keep that spark a’burnin. I just think it’s nice that Valentine’s Day comes around once a year so that you can REALLY have a day to appreciate each other. Thank her for being a good mom to your kids, thank her for making you feel like the most important man in the world. Thank him for being a provider for your family, thank him for putting up with your CONSTANT bullsh*t and antics because well, ladies? Don’t lie.

I just like it…and I think it’s important.

Don’t have a Valentine? Well then thank your friends and family for being there for you…and for loving and supporting you, no matter what comes your way.

Now, I’m not usually a big fan of going out and spending GOBS of money – maybe a nice dinner but really not splurging too much more than that – but I’m so excited about this year! Jacques really wanted to do something special since it’s our first V-day together so he booked us one night at Hotel Teatro in Downtown Denver:

It’s THIS one…

Bedroom….aaahhhh.

The lieu. Or loo. Whatever – So nice.

We also decided to go out to dinner at Vesta Dipping Grill. Morgan and Mr. Gaunt have been before for her birthday 2 years ago and she said it’s pretty spectacular. Nice ambiance, good food. It should be lovely!

In other news, I skipped weigh-in this week because well…it just wasn’t a great week. My scale says 173 – last week I weighed in at 171 so I would need to hit 170 or lower to see even the tiniest loss. This is kind of how it goes for me; I had two really good weeks in a row and now things will be slow. Hopefully it will be nice next week and Jacques and I can go for a hike or something.

Now I’m off to get a few things done before I head to Denver. Have a GREAT Valentine’s Day!

Much more love than usual, Pro

I’VE OFFICIALLY LOST 50 POUNDS!

50!

Five-to-the-OH MY GOD, you guys!

Yes for real. I’m over the moon happy (PS – is that still a saying?!). This week’s weigh in:

WEEK 37 WEIGHT LOSS: – 2.8 lbs

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS WITH WW: – 51.2 lbs (somewhere around 58 since the start)

This is the biggest loss I’ve had in one week since…well, I don’t know when – I can’t find my first book (sooo sad, surely it’s around here somewhere…under something). But it’s definitely been a while.

What am I doing differently, you ask? Couldn’t tell ya. Not a damn clue. It sure makes up for all those weeks in November where I felt like I was working my BUM off and not seeing any results…so I’ll take it.

Tonight my mom, Evan and I went down to the Poudre School District’s HQ for a recognition ceremony, of sorts. Evan’s artwork was the ONLY one chosen from her entire school to be hung in the Superintendant’s Office; it’ll stay there until Spring of 2011. Let me tell you, she is SO very excited about this…and I can’t blame her. In the life of a 4th grade aspiring artist, this is thrilling….comparable, maybe, only to getting 5 Bagel Bites as an afterschool snack – instead of 4 – or getting first place in all four of her Mario Kart Wii races (I clearly don’t know how to talk about video games).

My little Van Gogh…or Georgia O’Keefe (hopefully sans all the psychological problems, eh?). lol

So very proud of her.

Not much else is new, really. The Super Bowl is on Sunday and as I haven’t heard about any Super Bowl parties, I’m not too fearful of the GOBS of disgusting food that I’ll have to avoid. *PHEW* Mini-crisis averted. Jacques may be coming up and we’ll watch some football together…since the Broncos aren’t playing, I’ll really only be watching for the ads. Old habits die hard.

Some random pics that were neglected:

Bouquet of flowers that Jacques surprised me with last weekend…just because.

Jacques going McGuyver on Monument Rock (during our hiking excursion)

Shadow hikers

Much love, Pro

I’ve somehow gotten back into the habit of posting sporadically – I was doing so well there for a while, posting on a semi-regular basis. Oh well…such is life sometimes.

The past week hasn’t really produced anything worth writing about. The biggest thing that DID happen is not really something that should be discussed via blog because I don’t really see this as a DEAR DIARY type thing so I’m not gonna go there. I know, I know…so why’d I say anything about it at all? Because I didn’t really just tell you anything. Meh. Maybe after it gets worked out…

In other news, I went to weigh in today with a new friend (whose name I will not disclose because I’m not sure how she feels about everyone knowing she’s doing WW). It was her first meeting and she seems to be really excited about it. It’s also nice to have partner in crime again, someone to hold you accountable for GOING to weigh in. I find it kind of fun because it’s kind of my chance to show her what I’ve learned over these past 9 months.

Aaahhh, the student has become the teacher. Yes.

Weigh-in results? But of course!

WEEK 34 WEIGHT LOSS: - 2.0 lbs

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS WITH WW: - 48.4 lbs (about 55 since the very beginning)

Well you know what THIS means, right? Of course you do…it means that I’m 1.6 lbs away from “officiallly” losing 50 pounds! Thrilling. Awesome. Amazing. I’m ecstatic. My jaw dropped when the lady behind the counter told me; I thought it was going to be a maintain week but resolved to go anyway because I’d told the friend we’d be going. What kind of an example would I be setting for her if I didn’t go just because I thought the weigh in wasn’t going to be good?! Yes…hypocritical, I know. Because I do that ALL THE TIME. But not this week. I went and to my surprise, it was a loss!

The lady that weighed me in was SOOO excited for me. She asked if I had a “before” picture with me because she “just couldn’t imagine me with all that extra weight”. Uhhh yeah lady. I TOTALLY keep a picture of me at my HEAVIEST with me at all times. Sick, no thanks. It was nice though, because the shock factor for me is pretty much shot by now.

After weigh in, we were both STARVING and decided to go out to sushi. Yum, and not horrible for you. Double yum.

Now I’m spending some time going through the list of hotels Jacques has suggested for Valentine’s Day (isn’t that just SO NICE?). We’re planning on spending one night in a hotel – in either Downtown Denver or Colorado Springs (links to follow) – and enjoy a nice dinner along with each others company. Lovely.

Here are a couple of the places we’re looking into (seriously check out the links for each of these – AMAZING):

The Cliff House (Colorado Springs)

Hotel Teatro (Downtown Denver)

The Brown Palace (Downtown Denver)

A couple more options:

The Ritz Carlton (Downtown Denver)

The Westin Tabor Center (Downtown Denver)

I know so many people HATE Valentine’s Day…blahbedy blah blah. “Hallmark-contrived” BS….whatever. I like it. Ttthhhppp. It’s our first one together and we’re excited

Much love, Pro

To catch up on weight loss over the past few weeks:

WEEK 33 WEIGHT LOSS: – 1.2 lbs

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS WITH WW: – 46.0 lbs

WEEK 34 WEIGHT LOSS: n/a (not a good week so I skipped weigh in)

WEEK 35 WEIGHT LOSS: – 0.4 lbs

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS WITH WW: – 46.4 lbs (somewhere around 53 lbs over all)

Let’s start with the good news here, shall we? So I’ve officially hit – 45 lbs lost with WW which is THRILLING. It was a big deal in the meeting which always feel nice; everyone clapped. They asked how I’ve done it, you know. The usual. I feel guilty these days answering that question because while I am still paying attention to points and such, I’m no longer tracking and I’m certainly not following it to a tee. My main point nowadays is exercise. When you do big things in WW, the leader hands out these little “bravo” stickers and you keep them on a bookmark. Why? I don’t really know…as a reminder of how far you’ve come; little things to be proud of along the way I guess.

Leader: “Have there been any behavior changes that you might be able to attribute some of your weight loss to? What are you doing differently now that perhaps you weren’t doing before?”

Me: “Well, I guess one of the biggest changes besides paying attention to portion sizes a bit more would be that if I don’t *LOVE* what I’m eating, I just stop. It’s not worth the points if it’s not delicious.”

Leader: “Oh my GOSH! That’s incredible. I hope everyone heard that! Say it again, Lindsey!”

Anyway…after I said that she pulled out about 30 of those little BRAVO stars and gave ‘em to me. Sweet, what the hell do I do with all these stickers!? Anyway, I kept em because it was funny:

As for today’s weigh in…blah. -.4 pounds. It’s a loss so I’ll take it but I was obviously looking for more. Fingers crossed for next week.

One of the biggest things I would say might contribute to the fact that my weight loss has slowed down considerably over the past few months, is the fact that I’ve been stressed. Now, for those of you who are thinking “Oh hell, she’s not working, she doesn’t have kids, she’s not paying a mortgage…what has she got to stress about?” Right, all fair points. But I am.

Now I’m not sure how much I should divulge but it’s out there already, for the most part. My mom and stepdad are getting a divorce. This has been hard for my mom as she’s scared and nervous for how things are going to turn out. They have a 10 year old daughter together, my little sister Evan, so my mom is constantly worried about her. She comes to me to talk and to cry and to express her fears which, don’t get me wrong, I’m so very happy that I can be here for her through this whole thing. I’m trying to be strong for her, which – especially when it comes to my mother – I’m just not used to doing. It’s difficult but seems to be getting better.

I would say that without a doubt, this has definitely had an effect on my weight loss. I don’t know how that works exactly. Is there a chemical that comes from being stressed (either directly or indirectly) that might make it more difficult? I’m trying my very hardest not turn to food when I’m upset as I KNOW that would have a negative effect…not to mention the fact that I would just feel worse emotionally after that too.

Bless his heart, Jacques has been amazing from the very beginning. He calms me down when I’m freaking out, with or without reason. He’s thoughtful, even suggesting things that we can do make things easier for my mom. For instance, when he was up at my house over the past few days, he suggested that we take my little sister bowling with her best friend. I think he wants Evan to know that she’s got a friend in him through this whole divorce thing – too cute. And of course, my mom thought that was great. Yes, he’s certainly helpful.

Hopefully things get settled down fairly soon and I’ll get a job, which will take away part of the stress. In the mean time…it’s back to the gym. Whooopi dee doo.

Much love, Pro

I know, I know. It’s been a week since my last post. To put it simply, I haven’t had a whole lot to write about. That last one took it outta me…sheesh. Scary stuff. Topping it off, nothing has really happened to me in the past week that I felt compelled to write about. I spent the weekend in Colorado Springs with Jacques but we didn’t do anything spectacular. It was a lovely weekend, don’t get me wrong…just not…how should I put it? Eventful? Exciting? So here we are. A week later…

In my endeavor to run more (goal: to run a 10k and eventually a half-marathon this summer) I’ve decided that it really is all about the music, for me anyway. I don’t get nearly as good of a workout in without my music; I slack and don’t workout as hard and I’m certainly not nearly as efficient as when I bring my iPod and listen to my carefully selected workout mix. Title: Make it SWEAT.

Some people prefer to listen to slow but steady music. Some prefer hip-hop or heavy metal. I’d say I’m somewhere in between. I need something with good beat and fairly intense to keep me motivated. I like to rock a good fist pumping song (well, several) as I kick my own bum on the elliptical or do my intervals on the treadmill. It really does even help while I’m lifting weights too! I swear sometimes I probably do look like I fist-pumped my way right out one of those iPod ads from a couple years ago…

I probably have been caught singing too (quietly, I hope) if I’m really into it and here’s the thing…I’m doing my thing and the other people at the gym are doing theirs. Music helps me get into my groove. Hopefully they’ve found whatever it is that helps them kick it up a notch too.

For whatever reason, I’ve been asked by several people what I listen to when I workout. It might not interest some people which is fine. In which case, now might be the time to catch up on your other blog updates but I thought I’d just post a few songs that get me in the mood to workout…and workout hard.

Chevelle – Still Running

Breaking Benjamin – Had Enough

Three Days Grace – Riot

Flyleaf – I’m So Sick

Linkin Park – One Step Closer

Trapt – Headstrong

Chevelle – Get Some

Rage Against the Machine – Killing In the Name

Red – Breathe Into Me

System of a Down – Chop Suey

Rx Bandits – Decrescendo (couldn’t find a good cut of this one but it’s good, trust me)

Coheed & Cambria – Welcome Home

These types of songs work well for me because most of them have a good message that motivates me in some form or another or just has a good beat that I’ll try to align with my strides. Also, and man I don’t know how to talk about music…but the verses are often a bit more mellow – again with good beats – and then the chorus’s (would that be chori plural??) are usually a bit faster which works well with my intervals whether on the treadmill or the elliptical. My entire workout list is about 40 songs (almost 2.5 hours). I know this type of music isn’t for everyone but it really gets me motivated.

Yes I know…it was random but for some reason it’s come up with several different people so I thought I’d post it. Next time you’re working out, give these a try. Or if nothing else, notice the effect the music you listen to has on your workout. Maybe it’s time to switch it up.

Much love, Pro

My heart is P-O-U-N-D-I-N-G right now at the very thought of what I’m about to disclose to you all (all 7 people who read this blog regularly, lol). I’m pretty sure my palms just got sweaty – I know, so cute, right? – and my stomach might just crawl up my throat and out of my mouth. Nevertheless, I absolutely believe that it needs to be done.

The intention was to do this on January 1st. Starting a new year, facing this weight loss thing head on. The truth of it is that after not stepping on a scale for more than a week, not being able to work out for 9 days and being a house guest for 6 days…I gained a few pounds. Let’s talk about this for a second.

Being a house guest is difficult. You’re not *really* in control of what you’re eating because these people are feeding you for free. Yes, we ate lots of salads but there was also pasta and cookies and pie. Sure I drank milk and water when I could but there was also lots of wine and egg nog – boy, did I partake in that! However, I also find it kind of RUDE to turn down food even though we discussed this EXTENSIVELY in our WW meetings before the holidays. I, in truth, simply was not prepared.

When I got home I stepped on the scale for the first time in 9 days and I gained just about 3 pounds. EEEEEK. I was so upset and mad with myself…really Linds? You couldn’t take care of this, of yourself? I was so disappointed. Yeah, it could have been worse and for many, I know it was.

Here’s the deal: I am about to disclose how much I weigh and what size I am. This is terrifying. TERRIFYING. It’s not that I’m not proud of where I am now. I am IMMENSELY proud of where I am now, especially because I feel so good about myself. I have gained confidence back in myself and who I am…I am finally starting to feel good about my body and I’m more in shape now than I’ve been in years. It’s more that it’s difficult to admit where I was. Back in October, I grew some balls and posted before/half way to after pics of myself (I was 1/2 way to my goal at that point). At the time, that was SO difficult. In retrospect, I’m proud that I did it and it was kind of liberating. I’m hoping that I’ll have similar feelings about disclosing how much I weigh – other people do it all the time!

I think to move on in my weight loss journey, I need to fully address where I was when I started so I can GET OVER IT. It’s just another step in the process and I’m gonna take it. Here goes.

CURRENT WEIGHT: 177.8 lbs

CURRENT SIZE: 12

STARTING WEIGHT: 228.4 lbs

STARTING SIZE: 18

Uhhh, yeah. I still wanna throw up.

I have about 35-40 lbs to lose in order to reach my goal weight. I would like to end up right around 135-140 and a size 6 would be nice. I’m not sure if that weight will get me into that size but we’ll see.

Other *NEW AND EXCITING* announcements:

Morgan mentioned to me that she wanted to do the Bolder Boulder (for those of you who aren’t familiar with it, it’s a 10k race through the heart of Boulder, CO on Memorial Day weekend). A 10k is about 6 miles which shouldn’t be too bad. It’s kind of a strange race as it’s all on paved roads (uncomfortable on knees and other lower extremity joints) and it’s not like there are any GREAT views. Yes, the flatirons are right there but is it worth people coming from all over the world to race it? I don’t know…but I’m gonna find out It’ll be a great challenge as I fully intend to run the entire way and I think it’ll be a great thing for Morgan and I to do together.

I’ve also decided that I’m going to train for a half-marathon. I mentioned this to Jacques – because I would really like him to do it with me – and he said that during the summer time, there are half-marathons almost every weekend in Colorado. Perfect. This is going to take some MAJOR training…and training = weight loss right? Fingers crossed.

Season 9 of the Biggest Loser started last night and it looks like it’s gonna be good! I’m not sure that I’ve picked a favorite yet as we haven’t really seen personalities but I think this season is going to tug at your heart strings. It seems to be quite a few young people who are doing this to better themselves and find love. Awwww…

One thing I wanted to ask – for those of you who watch it, so last season there was a “Where are they now” episode. Do we remember this? OK, during the episode they showed the previous winner, Erik Chopin, who had gained it all back…do we remember THIS? I had thought that on last season’s finale, he was supposed to come on and weigh in with the rest of the contestants since he accepted the challenge from Bob and Jillian to once again, lose the weight. I watched the finale…and I don’t remember him being there NOR do I remember them even saying anything about it! Anyway, apparently there’s a Discovery Health 1 hour special about him tonight at 9pm EST. I was just wondering if anyone else had noticed the lack of mention of him during the season finale.

Much love, Pro

As promised…there are a few more adventures from Chicagoland I must share. Hmmm, where’d we leave off?

We’ll start off with Cantigny which is a big memorial garden/museum place not too far from Jacques’ grandparents house, where we were staying. We decided to walk over there and take a stroll. Obviously, since it’s winter time, the gardens weren’t “flourishing” per se, but it was still beautiful. It was however, a big wintry wonderland. They had a bunch of tanks from various wars which was pretty sweet and there is a big gorgeous mansion on the property but it was closed so we didn’t get to go inside. Pictures, you ask? But of course!

The next day we ventured into the city yet again and well, that’s when the bad luck started. First off, we missed the earlier train into Chicago and the next scheduled departure was an HOUR AND A HALF LATER than the first one. Before 8am, trains leave every 6 minutes or so. Then there’s one at 8:30a and then next soonest was at 9:50a! What the…I know, right? Anyway, we caught the 9:50a train and it’s about an hour long train ride which brought us into Chicago just before 11a.

There were two things we wanted to do that day: the Shedd Aquarium and the Art Institute. I had heard GREAT things about both and thought we’d be able to go to both. We might have actually been able to, had the following tidbit not ensued. Deep breath…

We go to the Aquarium and there was a line of about 200 people. Uhhhh. Shit. In the beginning it was moving quickly enough so we decided to wait it out. Okay, okay. I really wanted to see it. I’m sure Jacques would tell you he would have been happy enough to turn around and head straight to the art museum because – and here’s the kicker – we had FREE passes to the art museum. I KNOW! I’m horrible. The aquarium was going to be $25 each and we could’ve gone to the museum for free *slaps forehead*. Duh. Hindsight is 20/20.

So we waited…and waited…and waited. After an hour and a half we got within about 10 people of going through the door when it stopped. We just stood there. Nothing happened for about 15 minutes…until a little lady poked her little head through the door and very quietly said “We’ve reached capacity. We’ll be letting people in soon, though.” Um. Um. Um. OH MY GOD. Did I mention that it was freezing? And snowing? I was so mad. Jacques is far more patient than I and seemed to be handling it better. I was SERIOUSLY considering just turning around at that point and going to the art museum. Or crying.

After about 15 more minutes, we were finally let through the door to go buy tickets. The guy behind us in line had been very vocal about his annoyances and as we waited in line, he called one of the employees over to put his two cents in. I chimed in, just a bit and well, needless to say – we got free admission.

Let me tell you – after waiting for two hours and even after getting in for free, I still wish we would have gone to the art museum and skipped the aquarium. OH well, lesson learned. A few sweet pics from the aquarium:

A really REALLY big turtle…or tortoise. I didn’t pay attention (story of my life).

Him’s thinks him’s hiding.

I mean it was a good experience and we saw some cool stuff. Would I go back? Probably not. Moving along.

At this point it was too late in the day and we knew we couldn’t make it to the art museum so we decided to head home. We had to catch a bus to get back to the train station and I’m not going to point fingers…but we ended up getting on the wrong bus. For some reason we decided to ride it out, hoping it would turn around at some point…to make this long story short, we ended up in South Chicago (not the BEST part of town) and about 45 minutes south of where we needed to be. Uhhh, right. We got off, caught the RIGHT bus and headed back to the train station. At this point I was feeling sick – motion sickness, ugh. It had been a long and ridiculous day and I just wanted to get home.

Our flight back to Denver was at 7am the next morning (New Years Eve morning) which went well enough….until we landed and Jacques was missing a bag. It never made it on the plane. Super awesome. They delivered it later that day…but it just added to the frustration we’d experienced over the previous 24 hours.

We had made plans to go up to Breckenridge to ring in the New Year with Jacques’ friends, most of whom I’d never met so I was excited. Plus, I LOVE Breckenridge – for those of you who have never been, it’s an adorable little mountain town. Just gorgeous. To be honest, I didn’t get any good pictures from the evening but we got to see fireworks, his friends were great and we had an overall good time. We spent New Years Day snowshoeing which was fun (and hard!). Awesome view:

Gorgeous.

We headed down the mountain to enjoy some pizza at Beau Jo’s, which was yet another unfortunate debacle: 40 minutes waiting because they skipped us, then another 45 minutes waiting for the pizza because of a computer issue and to top it off, they made the wrong pizza. We told them about it, very nicely of course; they remade the pizza and comp’d everything but the beer. We tipped VERY well because hey, none of that was the waiter’s fault, right?

At this point, neither of us had been home for about a week and boy, were we ready. I’d like to say the bad luck was over, but no. Far from it, actually. We were on our way back to my dad’s house so I could get my Christmas stuff and head home…when Jacques noticed that the engine heat gauge was being goofy and then his heater stopped working. As we rolled up to my dad’s house, we were hearing funky noises coming from under the hood and upon inspection there were some MAJOR problems under there. We ended up staying the night at my dad’s and Jacques worked on it a bit in the morning, discovering that’s it’s actually a bigger problem than he initially thought. A $200 tow bill and what will probably be about twice to three times that amount in repairs, we were finally able to get home.

Happy 2010, huh?

Still sending love, Pro